The reason why quiet your inner critic is bad advice

The reason why quiet your hausinternhalb critic is bad adviceThe reason why quiet your intern critic is bad adviceWe all have an inner critic The voice that criticizes us, the voice that replays conversations in our head doing a play-by-play, the voice that tells us that maybe were not good enough (the voice that tells me the sentence I just wrote sucks).The message from the wohlbefinden community is clear Quiet your inner critic, shut down the ahole who lives in your head, and banish it once and for all.Heres the thing This approach doesnt work- at least not for me, but I suspect for others as well.When I try to expel my inner critic, it doesnt leave. It starts doing push-ups. It starts downing Red Bulls. It then roars back to life, at the worst possible time, louder than ever.Before, the inner critic was telling me that this sentence is insufferably unreadable. After I silence it, it comes back to tell me that Im a no-hit wonder and that I should stop writing altogether.The solutio n?Instead of quieting your inner critic, start listening to it.Its there for a reason to challenge you, to push you, to make you uncomfortable. Doubt and learning come hand in hand The inner critic forces us to consider different perspectives, to cross our ts and dot our is, to over-prepare for that job interview, and to rehearse that opening argument until we know it cold.When we dont listen to our inner critic, we stop learning and growing. When we think were invincible, we start blaming others if things dont go as planned. When we believe ourselves to be anindisputable experton something, we begin asserting confident conclusions without bothering to gather all of the facts.As woo-woo as it sounds, our inner critic needs love, just like the rest of us. Its only when I started embracing, rather than hating, my inner critic that I was able to tame the beast. Its no longer frothing at the mouth getting ready to bulldoze me. Its now lying by my side, ready to serve as a trusted guardi an.Listening to your inner critic doesnt mean you do everything it says. Think of the inner critic as the devils advocate who lives in your head. Its there to push and prod you, but dont let it mock you or dictate your direction. Youre in control. When it steps out of bounds with destructive self-talk, respond with a simple I hear you, thanks for your opinion, but Im on top of it.The better relationship I developed with my inner critic also expanded outward. Empathy is quite the buzzword these days, but our dedication to it rarely extends beyond lip service. It requires patience, curiosity, and above all, practice. Where better to start than by empathizing with the critic who lives within you?Perhaps we also err in calling this voice the inner critic, which has all sorts of negative connotations. If you dont like it, give it a new name. You can call it the inner guardian, the inner challenger, the inner rabble-rouser.If you dont like the narrative, change the narrative.But more impo rtantly, the next time youre tempted to banish your inner critic, resist the urge and give it a big hug instead. Much like the fellow human beings around us, once you start respecting it, youll find that it respects you back.Ozan Varol is a rocket scientist turned law professor and bestselling author.Click hereto download a free copy of his e-book, The Contrarian Handbook 8 Principles for Innovating Your Thinking. Along with your free e-book, youll get the Weekly Contrarian - a newsletter that challenges conventional wisdom and changes the way we look at the world (plus access to exclusive content for subscribers only).Thisarticlefirst appeared onozanvarol.com.